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  • Penny posted an update 3 years, 2 months ago

    @robinf So sorry to hear about your Dad. If he was just in the hospital, medicare will pay for limited visiting nurse visits. They are a wealth of information.

  • Wow, I would be exhausted too,  What a demanding woman.  She needs to see a psychiatrist and recieve therapy.  I know another appointment.  But hopefully they could help you come up with some coping strategies.  You could actually have family meetings and set up a contract.  You made need to do some tough love.  If she doesn;t limit appoin…[Read more]

  • There are very nice facilities that can take care of Mom.  Some of them have outdoor gardens, and activites for people with memory deficits.  i know you never wanted to place her.  But you don’t want to loose your husband either.  People get the best help at facilities if families visit frequently.  If she has no money she can get medicaid whic…[Read more]

  • Power of Attorney is a big step.  First you need a full medical workup.  Occupational therapist do cognitive screening with a series of simple tests.  By having one of these periodicly you can map out a decline.  The mini mental the doctor uses is not much help. A mini- mental is they ask you 10 simple questions, including recall over a few min…[Read more]

  • Penny replied to the topic Money for care in the forum General Questions 3 years, 2 months ago

    You need an Elder Care lawyer, they know all about Medicaid.  If she has any assets left I believe you can poor them into her house for repairs, handicap access etc.  Of course you need Power of Attorney, or your Mom to understand this stuff and work with you.  Last I heard it is 7 years to give away assets.  What I mean is Mom could give you all…[Read more]

  • Joy, ouch, now thats a problem I have not had to face. On top of worrying about your Moms health you have this new husband.  Barbara had great advice, make sure Elder Care lawyer they know more about laws that affect the aging public.  Maybe a private detective to check out the new husband.  Have you googled him you might find other people who kn…[Read more]

  • I’m so sorry about your poor Moms fight.  Have you tried a consultant.  Has the occupational or speech therapist  seen your Mom.  My mom has heart disease, she gets very fatigued.  I have to tantalize her, different flavors, bright colors, small amounts , frequently.  If you give them a big plate, it overwhelms them.  Try one thing at a time,…[Read more]

  • Wow, that must have scared you to death.  GPS my friend,  does she always, always take her purse.  Watch she can’t get off without help.  Alzheimers comes on quickly.  The first place she needs a full medical workup, talk to her doctor.  Sometimes older people can get a urinary infection and get very confused.  She should not drive, she will h…[Read more]

  • One of the best things you can do for your Mom and her health is to keep exact records,   When you go to the doctor and they want to do a test remind them when that test was done last .  I had a patient, that his mother liked to have multiple tests done on him.  The best way to deal with her was to remind her that this doctor said the same th…[Read more]

  • Penny posted an update 3 years, 2 months ago

    @ljcarey your shopping trips sound like a long, tiring, torture. With my parents I have started doing a monthly shopping on my own. That way the shopping trips Dad or Mom manage to do are shorter, less tiring, and more about what they want instead of the basic needs. it might shorten your Mom trips. Good Luck, change is long and difficultly won.

  • God Bless You!  taking care of your Mom is a real treasure.  Yeah, I call my parents real treasures, because some times they drive me nuts.  I tell people it is like taking care of two toddlers.  When, Mom needs help, Dad seeks attention.  It kind of is like having a child.  One of the important things when you have a new baby is to make sure…[Read more]

  • Oh , and Sadie, you are speaking my language.  I’m worried about you.  You are already feeling overwhelmed and now you are moving in.  What would happen if you broke your femur today.  Don’t let your brothers get away with dumping on the sis.  I say that and then, I remember, I have six siblings that always have more important things to do.  I t…[Read more]

  • Wow!  My first impression is you both, parents and you, need space.  They need their privacy as much as you do.  If at all possible designate an area of the house as theres.  You cant enter there unless you knock, unless they invite you in.  Same for you, a private space.  Hire or beg someone to take them out one day or evening to do somet…[Read more]

  • Penny replied to the topic Let's start talking in the forum Aging Parents 3 years, 3 months ago

    I am disabled at 56, not your problem.  there are wrenches to open any thing.  try the AARP store,  If you hire a cleaning lady once a week, she could open hard to open items.  Make your environment safe for you.  Please talk to your children.

  • I’m sorry ,loneliness is the worst.  My Mom is always amazed that if she goes to church, or a parade and how many people miss her.  Senior center is a great place to meet people.  Hospitals always looking for multiple volunteers, to do a variety of jobs.  Talk to town social worker, they have people that call home bound people.  Try it you coul…[Read more]

  • Penny replied to the topic Hi-tech devises in the forum Aging Parents 3 years, 3 months ago

    I tried multiple electronic medication boxes .  They all died in about 6 months,  Any suggestions.  Mom will take her pills before she eats and then gets very sick.  Also completely forget s to take pills

  • Oh Evette I’m sorry.  It is so hard to give up our independence.  the first thing is what caused the fall.  Did you talk to your doctor, they have to keep a secret.  I am disabled myself, Rheumatoid Arthritis for 17 years.  I always tell my husband if I fall because I feel I wouldn’t want him to not tell me.  We have a relationship and I don’t…[Read more]

  • Parents are the king ad Queen of manipulation.  Because we are their children we bite hook line and sinker.  My advice make changes drip by drip.  Try hiring a little bit of help so your husband is home one more day.  Then increase, good Luck.  I tried to hire an assistant for my mother and she had an “out an out” tantrum.  I havn’t been worki…[Read more]

  • Talked to my 82 year old mother this am on the phone.  She always gets down and depressed when I can’t get to her house every week for a visit.  I am sick with some virus and then allergic reaction on top of it.  Mom is so frail I don;t dare go near her when she I am sick.  On the phone she said I’m loosing my mind and its getting worse.  I don’…[Read more]

  • thankyou Marlene.  My Dad is so cantakerous no facility would take him.  I interviewed and hired an aide to help Mom, she had a total melt down.  I have asked Dad to increase cleaning lady to every week, so he has 2 hours to go shopping.  he never calls her but is able to order truck parts, and hire a man to help him.  Luckily he does not leav…[Read more]

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